Bad Beats In Life Kills My State Yo

so today had to do some car things with my car an my mom's so i had to drop off my lil brother at school while we do these car things. anyways after i drop off my brother, i yeild on a right turn merge lane onto another road cuz cars were coming and i wasnt sure what lane they were in, coulda been int he lane i was turning too. obviously i had to yeild, there was acutally even a street YEILD sign. anyways i stop an wait, an next thing you know BOOM.

my head goes crashing into the steering wheel, i lean my head back, my glasses are completely fucked up, an my left lens falls from its socket. im thinking "WTF". all this liquid is all over my left hand, i look at it closer and its a mess load of blood from a cut over my left eye. my glasses cut me up good. freaking sucked. basically my car was fine so we jus exchanged infos and he gave me $120 for my glasses. if my cut heals fine thins might just be over. i went to a glasses shop an they fixed up my glasses for free, with sum tweezers n stuff. the car looks fine, so its not nearly as bad as it could have been, but the accident jus wasted like 2 hours of my time, took lik a cup of my blood out my system, and jus made me feel lik crap all day.

whatever, glad that things are settling down more, at home now, chillin. alot of my computer parts came in today int he mail, cant wait to get this thing up an running.

Money > Game?

Yea so an old friend of mine stopped by today an we chilled while i helped out on some stuff involving school. We talked about gaming a bit and some funny things came up, heh.

So right now im perfectly aware that money does not mean happiness. So a person can be perfectly happy without money. But, i think one thing im aware of is that a person with money and a person without money, both with positive frames and equal creativity, the guy with moeny will generally be more happy i think. One can argue that no matter the situation, a guy with a astrong enuf frame can be just as happy as any rich guy. But i think, the same poor guy with a happy mindset would seriously jus be more happier with all the money in the world at his disposal. Knowing this, I know i COULD technically be happy without money, but i also know that with money, i could be MORE happy, and i just choose to pick the happier of the two. One can always say "yea i'll be happy with this one girl" but what if theres another girl that'll make you even more happy overall? wouldnt you want to be with that girl? obviously, theres a point where u cant keep searching for a new girl that'll always make u happier, but this money situation is just so obviously, obviously having money will give u more options to do other things to increase the happiness in your life. the rich who are unhappy just don't know how to live it up.

poker is just killing me now, it totally disillusioned my feel for how much money is actually worth. my friends who fight over 5-10$ im thinking wtf, is this the mindset normal people who don't play poker have??? its just so sad how this world revolves around money, even down to the dollar, in a world where so few have millions. just from all this thought, whether its a limiting belief or not, I just feel like money is holding me back from being free to explore what game has to offer me. I mean, come one, if I wanna get laid, money can do that for me.

I know right now I'm not the type of person who looks for money to be happy, because when I'm out with my friends, I have a great time, money is not an issue at all, I just have a blast just hanging out and laughing my ass off. But if this is the case, then why am I looking for money? Seriously, I don't know. It's like theres two worlds everyone lives in. The good life, and the real life. People go out, hang out with friends, go the bars/clubs, live it up, buy drinks, get drunk, laugh lots and do it up. But thats only one side of it all. After the party, people got work, bills, responsibilities, family, etc etc. Haha, i think i just thought up something interesting. These two worlds, its like gaming is the key to one lock, and money the key to the other.

Fuk'n money, I hate that zhit.

Hrmm.... Ending Cake Again?

Sooo.... this month is coming to a close and across 100k hands of poker, I ended this month down $500. Made back a good bit this week most of my losses is coming back from rakebreak. Today was an interesting day, I was running pretty good an was up 3 buyins at one point, of course the state i was in I was thinking that i could actually make back alot more of my losses and possibly break even for the month if i kept playing, which could possibly be the case. However, then there came the small down swings from my good runs. I was moving from being up 3 buyins to only 1 buy in, and finally ended the day being up 2 buy ins. (I can't say if this is actually running good because i got sucked out on 2-3 outters plenty of times today, but im actually winning hands as well) This week I been generally winning consistently like i used to in the good ol days. I'm sure if i kept playing i'll be on my way to being back on the green online. However, I'm reminding myself of the horrid run i had earlier this month. Although i did play bad i know for a fact there was alot of bad luck int he equation as well. I'm still skeptical of how legit cake poker is. Whether or not it is legit, I'm glad for the bad run because i've gotten so much better and began thinking alot more about hands than i did before.

I'm tempted to keep money in cake and keep playing because of this small comeback i had this week, but i think its just another test of discipline to just quit this game while im down only $500. theres a very good chance i could have kept playing today and possibly tomorrow to break even and maybe pull off a small profit with RB, but i'm jus gonna close the books on cake poker for now. last chance for poker is gonna be the live play in AC and Borgata poker tourneies. But, now I'm seriously taking steps to move on from poker, because although i discovered a whole new side to the game, the swings are just becoming unbearable. Now im jus gonna wait til the month ends, get my RB an cash out and move on.


Something on a side note, i been watching the WSOP Horse tournaament on TV and saw Daniel Negreanu tilting making bad calls and losing chips. I thought the guy was an amazing pro, but apparently even they go on tilt and suck now an then, i wonder how much experience he actually has compared to me. I know im a bad tilter now and then, especially when losing several buyins in a very short amount of time. But, i seirously wonder how good these pro live players are making a living compared to decent online players. seriously... i mean wtf look at that one guy Kidow or whatever is his name, guy sucks ballz and making final tables in multiple huge tournies.... wtf? *sigH*