Hard to Fight Emotions

so i've lost $2100 earlier today in poker. blown.

got a ridiculous prank call from flawless about US Dept of Justice and illegal poker, mad funny, i was cracking up. this phone-internet chat service is hilarious, i plan on using it to prank some friends.

afterwards, went to school to lift, something i need to commit myself into doing more regularly. there is something i've noticed about how my body reacts to the "need to lift." i've been lifting regularly for about 8 years now, since freshman year in high school, and i've done a lot of after school sports which physically wore my body out. im not sure about the whole biology behind my body but there were times in school where if i wouldn't lift for a week i'd feel so groggy and horrible, stressed out and absolute crap. well, lifting today felt REALLY good. i felt so healthy and fit and i feel like my body needed to release all that tension from poker and everything else.

well so i come back home from lifting and start another poker session, i felt absolutely relaxed and worn out from lifting. my mind was totally relaxed and focused on the game. basically, owned the tables and made back $1400 tonight. during this session there was something i learned that contributed to my losses earlier today. i wasn't playing poker, i was playing cards for money. basically each time i lost money in poker i felt like i was losing and got more and more frustrated. but the fact is, in poker, losing money doesnt mean losing, its just a result. i folded aces twice tonight on a board which i normally would've gotten stacked on. i realized, that after i lose a lot of money in a hand and i think over what happened after the hand, i regret the decisions i made. which meant, while i was in the game, i wasnt playing poker, i was jus in it for the money. i was basically playing poker AFTER losing the money, which is no good, im starting to focus during my game, off AIM, with only 6 tables instead of 8, NOT using autobet buttons but fingers which will TYPE exactly WHAT i thought of betting. there was a state of mind i was in tonight where my perspective of playing poker was TOTALLY different. i need to maintain this focus in all my sessions.

in relation to gaming, there are so many things that relate to poker. right now i picture myself earlier today while tilting all my money away as if i was emotionally BLOWN out of some bad set of girls, going crazy, being frustrated and out of control, giving up on properly playing the game. thats just ridiculous. some bad sets or some bad beats, it shouldnt affect me at ALL. these small things have NO affect in the bigger picture of things.

its funny how the same reason why people lose so much in poker is the same reason why people never get good at PUA, its so hard to fight emotions.