another interesting thing happened tonight, on the walk back to my car in DC, some black/african group of 4-5 guys walked up to us drunk and one of them was asking if E_ wanted to fight or box or sumthing, and E_ started antagonizing the fight and seriously wanted to brawl, im thinking "WTF IS THIS GUY THINKING?" we're out numbered, and these guys were like twice the size of us. i saw absolutely no reason for the fight, just E_ antagonizing it. guy got pride issues. all i felt from E_ was negative vibes, i can chill with him just fine cuz E_ is cool in a lot of ways; but there are also a lot of cool people who compliment the lifestyle i want to live, positively.
personally i do not think fighting is the answer for any problems anyone might have, if it means sucking up your pride, then do it, be the fucking man who can take the insults of some low value chump. i'd only fight if the guy lays a hand on me. i feel like if a guy can't find a way to walk away from a physical confrontation, its due to the lack of social skills. dont buy into the frame of the other guy who wants to fight, set up your own reality and walk away, you'll never see him again, so why should it matter? its almost being scared to approach a set you'll never see again, who cares? you got nothing to protect but your pride, be humble and be strong. dont let pride control the life you live, live a life that you can be proud of.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Poker Is Ugh.
so i got no job and i dont want some 9-5 boring ass job right now straight out of college, i want to live it up a bit and have fun learning game for several months then start getting professional about financial stuff. so im playing poker right now to make some money while learning game and hopefully to also study some things about business and computer programming for video games.
yesterday made a fresh $800 from poker but tonight i lost $400. poker is some crazy ass stuff, i been struggling in it lately and part of it has to do with my lack of effort in trying to get good. i feel like i recognize my big leaks which is causing me to lose alot of money, i dont feel the need to try and be the best at poker, i feel like im good enough to make the money i need at this moment off poker. i hope to make a couple thousand the next month to get me by, if i go broke im gonna have to look for some part time job delivering pizza or something.
losing $400 tonight sucked, but its only 2 buy ins and if i played perfectly tonight i might've been up $200 instead. its interesting how hard it is for me to play perfect sessions that meet my limited expectations of the game, hindsight reveals all my mistakes but its so hard to learn from them.
yesterday made a fresh $800 from poker but tonight i lost $400. poker is some crazy ass stuff, i been struggling in it lately and part of it has to do with my lack of effort in trying to get good. i feel like i recognize my big leaks which is causing me to lose alot of money, i dont feel the need to try and be the best at poker, i feel like im good enough to make the money i need at this moment off poker. i hope to make a couple thousand the next month to get me by, if i go broke im gonna have to look for some part time job delivering pizza or something.
losing $400 tonight sucked, but its only 2 buy ins and if i played perfectly tonight i might've been up $200 instead. its interesting how hard it is for me to play perfect sessions that meet my limited expectations of the game, hindsight reveals all my mistakes but its so hard to learn from them.
A Long Nighter
its 5:25 AM, just got in and writing up the story of the night
game-wise was very unproductive, basically i did nothing. opened 2 sets today and did no bantering, was horrible, i am very rusty from not going out for 2 weeks on gaming.
tonight went out with S_ and E_. they met up with M_ beforehand and they ditched him with a bill at a hookah bar to meet up with me. it was pretty shady of them, i would never do something like that, but at the same time i thought it was kinda funny, lol, o well.
wasted $7 for parking at Georgetown only to leave right after meeting up with S_ and E_. we headed down to Adams Morgan to meet up with two of S_'s friends, N_ and K_. Both were really tall, N_ is about HB6, skinny. K_ is also HB6 but a big ass and tits, real thick and voluptuous, banging. both were really boring with nothing to say and was always so serious at first. i know in conversations the guy needs to input 90% and let girls reply with 10%. i was a dead beat tonight and could not talk about anything, i felt so lame.
after a boring ass hour chillin at the bar not talking about anything at all, we left and the girls seemed to be more lightened up and acted more cheerful, then when we got to my car things started going ape-shit. the girl K_ started crying and shit and feeling sick and kept asking to get out the car to throw up and shit and we had to keep stopping and waiting for 10 minutes, wtf. if i was her i woulda jus got out and get it all over with, i got methods of throwing up if i really have to. she a noob yo. anyways, she started crying like shit for no reason an kept sobbing about how embarassed she is because she was so sick and throwing up, i was thinking "WTF, CHILL. JUST DO IT AND LETS GO". K_ kept crying and asking us to just go home and leave K_ and N_ in DC for someone else to come pick them up, i'm thinking wtf? had to pull over lik 3-4 times and wait lik 10-15 minutes each time to wait for K_ and convince her that i'll drive them to the metro station. eventually we all got in the car and i had to drive my ass with everyone all the way up 270 to shady grove metro station, place far as hell wtf. anyways, so i dropped them off after constantly pulling over and dealing with K_'s unnecessary drama and now im at home when the sun is starting to rise at 5:30 AM.
bar/club game is lame, i realize the conversations in those areas are so difficult and not normal. i'm planning on going out day time primarily to work on learning how to talk to people. my failure tonight is a reminder of my lack of focus in the game, and lack of dedication, i need to get off my ass and start making moves.
game-wise was very unproductive, basically i did nothing. opened 2 sets today and did no bantering, was horrible, i am very rusty from not going out for 2 weeks on gaming.
tonight went out with S_ and E_. they met up with M_ beforehand and they ditched him with a bill at a hookah bar to meet up with me. it was pretty shady of them, i would never do something like that, but at the same time i thought it was kinda funny, lol, o well.
wasted $7 for parking at Georgetown only to leave right after meeting up with S_ and E_. we headed down to Adams Morgan to meet up with two of S_'s friends, N_ and K_. Both were really tall, N_ is about HB6, skinny. K_ is also HB6 but a big ass and tits, real thick and voluptuous, banging. both were really boring with nothing to say and was always so serious at first. i know in conversations the guy needs to input 90% and let girls reply with 10%. i was a dead beat tonight and could not talk about anything, i felt so lame.
after a boring ass hour chillin at the bar not talking about anything at all, we left and the girls seemed to be more lightened up and acted more cheerful, then when we got to my car things started going ape-shit. the girl K_ started crying and shit and feeling sick and kept asking to get out the car to throw up and shit and we had to keep stopping and waiting for 10 minutes, wtf. if i was her i woulda jus got out and get it all over with, i got methods of throwing up if i really have to. she a noob yo. anyways, she started crying like shit for no reason an kept sobbing about how embarassed she is because she was so sick and throwing up, i was thinking "WTF, CHILL. JUST DO IT AND LETS GO". K_ kept crying and asking us to just go home and leave K_ and N_ in DC for someone else to come pick them up, i'm thinking wtf? had to pull over lik 3-4 times and wait lik 10-15 minutes each time to wait for K_ and convince her that i'll drive them to the metro station. eventually we all got in the car and i had to drive my ass with everyone all the way up 270 to shady grove metro station, place far as hell wtf. anyways, so i dropped them off after constantly pulling over and dealing with K_'s unnecessary drama and now im at home when the sun is starting to rise at 5:30 AM.
bar/club game is lame, i realize the conversations in those areas are so difficult and not normal. i'm planning on going out day time primarily to work on learning how to talk to people. my failure tonight is a reminder of my lack of focus in the game, and lack of dedication, i need to get off my ass and start making moves.
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