5/23
So finally college is REALLY over, went to both the graduation ceremonies the 20th and 21st. The first one was horrible, the whole school one, where the speakers were bad, not interesting and very dumb. The second one was alot better, i really liked some of the things that were said. The individual name calling was pretty cool too. I can't believe all this is over now...
So i started playing poker again, i wont get into it much, jus that im really bad irght now and slowly remembering how to play. its a state killer for sure, especially if you're losing.
One of the most interesting things said by 3/4 speakers in the graduation ties directly into social dynamics. Millionaires and successful innovative people are extremists in life who stand out of the norms of society. With each reward from society for an individual's unique accomplishments, there is pressure to behave in ways that pleases society, which strays them from their radical ideals and lifestyle as extremists. A speaker said all the forces of society force great unique people to fit into the norms of the average person. Learn to stand out and do things different from society against society's averaging forces.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
College Is Over.
5/16
colleges is done. funny thing happened today, i was finishing up my last exam with the redhead in the class, i felt lik she was waiting for me to finish so she could meet me while we walk outside of class, this is what we did on the midterm... anyways... i kept looking to the left of me seeing if she was waiting for me... i was taking real long to finish and i kept waiting to see if she'll finish before me an leave... then when i finished taking the exam i just got up and ready to turn it in and the redhead finished at the same time as me. i swear this girl was waiting for me to finish my exam so she could walk out with me, anyways... i head out with her right behind me an i look at her with a smile/laugh. there are two of her friends waiting outside and from here it got real awkward, i just cant isolate this damn girl!
one of her big friend leaves the 2nd girl waiting outside and walks with her and i felt like she cockblocked me. the redhead wouldnt go/hang out with me with the big friend around, and i was being jus AFC< not being persistent enough, i jus asked to go eat wings at this place an she said she had to pack, it was a dumb excuse, she said she was leaving home two days later... i feel lik she wants to get to know me but im jus messing up, i messaged her on facebook. i have oneitis feelings over this HB6 girl, because i feel lik she's really down to earth and that i could learn alot from her.
i know i WILL NOT get into any serious relationship though, i already made a solid promise with myself on those grounds, i will need to master my social skills before any social barrier commitments.
excited to start gaming over this summer, i got financial worries, flawless making me want to play online poker again, but i hate all those long waits to cash out. i still wanna get out the house an live in AC for about a week, contemplating.
got plans to game girls with two friends from school, one called T_ and the other J_. T_ and J_ both accept the possibilities of gaming, but are real AFC, just like me, i wonder how i'll ever learn to get past my Attr sticky point. if i can get a good conversation with the redhead, i feel lik i'll learn more about it, i jus need to learn to talk to girls in general wtf!
colleges is done. funny thing happened today, i was finishing up my last exam with the redhead in the class, i felt lik she was waiting for me to finish so she could meet me while we walk outside of class, this is what we did on the midterm... anyways... i kept looking to the left of me seeing if she was waiting for me... i was taking real long to finish and i kept waiting to see if she'll finish before me an leave... then when i finished taking the exam i just got up and ready to turn it in and the redhead finished at the same time as me. i swear this girl was waiting for me to finish my exam so she could walk out with me, anyways... i head out with her right behind me an i look at her with a smile/laugh. there are two of her friends waiting outside and from here it got real awkward, i just cant isolate this damn girl!
one of her big friend leaves the 2nd girl waiting outside and walks with her and i felt like she cockblocked me. the redhead wouldnt go/hang out with me with the big friend around, and i was being jus AFC< not being persistent enough, i jus asked to go eat wings at this place an she said she had to pack, it was a dumb excuse, she said she was leaving home two days later... i feel lik she wants to get to know me but im jus messing up, i messaged her on facebook. i have oneitis feelings over this HB6 girl, because i feel lik she's really down to earth and that i could learn alot from her.
i know i WILL NOT get into any serious relationship though, i already made a solid promise with myself on those grounds, i will need to master my social skills before any social barrier commitments.
excited to start gaming over this summer, i got financial worries, flawless making me want to play online poker again, but i hate all those long waits to cash out. i still wanna get out the house an live in AC for about a week, contemplating.
got plans to game girls with two friends from school, one called T_ and the other J_. T_ and J_ both accept the possibilities of gaming, but are real AFC, just like me, i wonder how i'll ever learn to get past my Attr sticky point. if i can get a good conversation with the redhead, i feel lik i'll learn more about it, i jus need to learn to talk to girls in general wtf!
Social Talk with Rockstar
5/15
talked about sum serious social theoretics with a friend from my comp sci class, he had such a deep understanding about social dynamics that he learned on his own, its amazing.
first time i ever had an energy drink that works, Rockstar Energy Drink, it was freaking amazing, B-vitamins amp you up!
talked about sum serious social theoretics with a friend from my comp sci class, he had such a deep understanding about social dynamics that he learned on his own, its amazing.
first time i ever had an energy drink that works, Rockstar Energy Drink, it was freaking amazing, B-vitamins amp you up!
Unhappy Happy Hour
5/11
went to happy hour at applebees for "cheap" drinks but the damn things were lik 6$ on the regular and only 5$ on happy hour and ended up dropping 35$ for a 70$ bill. first time at happy hour an it was mad expensive, it was dumb.
met up with S_ and E_ in CP bars to work on game. Place was dead beat! It felt kind of weird because the busiest bar was the empty I've ever seen it. Opened one 4-set and things went really well and i exited, was thinking of using it to transition to comfort, but 4got the fact that there is no isolation at all and i ran out of things to say, re-entered with lack of material a n things went dead.
went to happy hour at applebees for "cheap" drinks but the damn things were lik 6$ on the regular and only 5$ on happy hour and ended up dropping 35$ for a 70$ bill. first time at happy hour an it was mad expensive, it was dumb.
met up with S_ and E_ in CP bars to work on game. Place was dead beat! It felt kind of weird because the busiest bar was the empty I've ever seen it. Opened one 4-set and things went really well and i exited, was thinking of using it to transition to comfort, but 4got the fact that there is no isolation at all and i ran out of things to say, re-entered with lack of material a n things went dead.
Classes Over, High State on a Low Night
5/10
last day of classes was boosted lik hell, was in state like crazy, played pool at C_'s, hung out at S_'s for a bit. was good times, then bars were packed and had like lines of 100 people outside each one an my rides decided to leave around 11:30, which was REALLY lame because i wanted to party it up lik hell, i was really upset an pissed. pulling out of the parking lot, i decided to try to get into the bars an take the metro home the next morning or sumthing. the line stopped dead for 30 minutes and i called up K_ to give me a ride an luckily he did. went home blazing an bummed out.
last day of classes was boosted lik hell, was in state like crazy, played pool at C_'s, hung out at S_'s for a bit. was good times, then bars were packed and had like lines of 100 people outside each one an my rides decided to leave around 11:30, which was REALLY lame because i wanted to party it up lik hell, i was really upset an pissed. pulling out of the parking lot, i decided to try to get into the bars an take the metro home the next morning or sumthing. the line stopped dead for 30 minutes and i called up K_ to give me a ride an luckily he did. went home blazing an bummed out.
Dumb Meet Up
5/5
last weekend met two cool girls, went out thurs-fri, this weekend went out only thurs so far, plan to go out today, called up those two girls to meet up, and met up in adams morgan bars, was a horrible idea, shoulda isolated for a 2:2 date type environment. i had major AA before calling them, first time calling sum girls i barely knew, but i eventually did. the girls showed up with lik 15 doods they all knew and from the whole setting i had a really hard time getting to know them better. things died down an me, S_ an E_ ended up doing our own things.
last weekend met two cool girls, went out thurs-fri, this weekend went out only thurs so far, plan to go out today, called up those two girls to meet up, and met up in adams morgan bars, was a horrible idea, shoulda isolated for a 2:2 date type environment. i had major AA before calling them, first time calling sum girls i barely knew, but i eventually did. the girls showed up with lik 15 doods they all knew and from the whole setting i had a really hard time getting to know them better. things died down an me, S_ an E_ ended up doing our own things.
Cali Girls
4/28
met some really cool girls from California interning in the DC area. vibed pretty well, i can tell red head was givin me IOI's talking about how she dated an Asian an very touchy (but she was touchy with everyone) got my first number close with her! yea yea who cares, its just a number, im working on it.
met some really cool girls from California interning in the DC area. vibed pretty well, i can tell red head was givin me IOI's talking about how she dated an Asian an very touchy (but she was touchy with everyone) got my first number close with her! yea yea who cares, its just a number, im working on it.
Self-Esteem vs Pride
4/26
i was looking back in my previous entries and was editing some of the things and adding more info into the more empty dates. whatever i could remember, then i ran into the 4/8/07 entry and realized that some of the things i type isnt coming off too clearly. but one thing i do want to mention about feeling high self-worth. its just self-esteem. and i want to point out the clear difference between self-esteem and pride. i believe self-esteem is the right way to build up good state, a good feeling of oneself because YOU yourself believe you are great.
pride on the other hand i think is destructive to society and now that i think about it, humility is extremely important to live a happy life. pride is nothing but a comparison of oneself to others and feeling good that you are not them because you believe what you are is better than them. then i think pride is a measure of good feeling depending on how those around you are, which i think is a sign of weakness and the lack of a strong frame/identity. it gets complicated, im trying to think of better ways to put this, and there are of course exceptions to when some pride wont hurt, but maybe ill discuss this later.
i was looking back in my previous entries and was editing some of the things and adding more info into the more empty dates. whatever i could remember, then i ran into the 4/8/07 entry and realized that some of the things i type isnt coming off too clearly. but one thing i do want to mention about feeling high self-worth. its just self-esteem. and i want to point out the clear difference between self-esteem and pride. i believe self-esteem is the right way to build up good state, a good feeling of oneself because YOU yourself believe you are great.
pride on the other hand i think is destructive to society and now that i think about it, humility is extremely important to live a happy life. pride is nothing but a comparison of oneself to others and feeling good that you are not them because you believe what you are is better than them. then i think pride is a measure of good feeling depending on how those around you are, which i think is a sign of weakness and the lack of a strong frame/identity. it gets complicated, im trying to think of better ways to put this, and there are of course exceptions to when some pride wont hurt, but maybe ill discuss this later.
Santa Fe Night Out
4/26
(i just got back from going out on 4/26 and i think im still drunk, everything looks/feels SOOO weird, im in the zone and i can type alot, and i am NOT high right now)
man o man, ok i just caught up to today, wrote up entries from last week (4/19) to now. last night was so much fun, went to santa fe and i got drunk but had a blast, i got into maximum state i think, where talking to people is so easy and there was this one situation where i was laughing so hard nonstop that N_ an P_ thought i was high or something, i had an episode like this at the mall on sunday with flawless when nobody was there. man i love good times! i realized that around these guys i act so comfortable an normal and have a blast, i just cant wait til i can get to that level with absolute strangers and hot girls.
i havent done many sets tonight, i recall opening a 2-set with a shot opener but then exited immediately after, i dont kno why. the super hot dirty blond was on the phone and completely ignored me, she seemed lik a bit*h and she was when i caught her leaving bitc*ing at strangers, i guess she really wanted to get laid and nobody talked to her or something. the other girl was pretty fat and she lost her voice and tried to talk to me but i couldnt hear a thing she said.
i was hitting up the two waiters i had tonight. the first one, N_ and P_ made it feel kind of awckward when i simply was asking her a question which i thought was fine, i just ignored them. the first waitress seemed kinda boring or tired. the second waitress seemed much more cool, i was hittin her up. did some funny thigns and kino'd her alot. rub a dub cheeks saying i lik her smile, and i making her bend super close to my lips to hear my orders. it was funny. two girls that knew N_ and also P_ came over to talk to them an the short one was banging, i was staring at her chest alot. the other girl seemed really bored so i talked to her a bit an things was going ok i guess, but she seemed annoyed and didnt like to laugh or anything and kept saying "i dont know" to alot of my questions, i.e. girl on girl make outs. but i said some clever flirts, i shoulda done alot more, but i think cuz i was drunk i didnt. she ended up pulling the short hot girl who was talking to N_ out of the interaction saying she needed to go to the bathroom, but it was an excuse for cockblock i think. we all left the bar to go play some 3-handed poker at N_'s. its just something that we do.
left the bar around 12. there was alot of hot girls, but so many more guys at sante fe tonight. makign it hard to find sets to open, but there was several sets i coulda opened which i didnt, i know i have much less AA but i didn't open them. i went back to the bar before we left to use the bathroom and on the way out from the bathroom i ran into M_E_. said wassup an carried on our business, like we always do when we randomly meet, we dont chill at all, i find it weird. there was these two girls that he was talking to that i remember. one of them was from the graffitti party that changed my life. she was real busty but i acted like i didn't rememeber her. the other was francis's ex from long ago i think. she is really cute but i rememeber justin and steve saying she's ugly, which i don't get. she seemed really cool, i think she was digging my pimp accessories (same with the 2nd waitress, we had mad E.C. and smiles, which is why i hit up those rub a dubs). she asked for my name and i said "ill show you my name" and was about to do the writing my name int he air thing but then i remembered that i did this same thing to the chick from the graffitti party! lol! when i grabbed this girl's shoulders and was abot to tell what to do, i caught on to this an said that i couldnt do this i had to go cuz my friends were waiting outside, which was the truth... i shoulda stayed in and talked though.
well we left the bar and got to nicks and i played some poker, there was some ridiculous things going on about the pizzas we ordered, dollar bills, hot sauce, burning mouths, stealing food, and some really bad ramen noodles. who drains out all the soup after cooking? lame. it was hilarious though i was laughing ridiculously. and then passed out, goodnight!
(i just got back from going out on 4/26 and i think im still drunk, everything looks/feels SOOO weird, im in the zone and i can type alot, and i am NOT high right now)
man o man, ok i just caught up to today, wrote up entries from last week (4/19) to now. last night was so much fun, went to santa fe and i got drunk but had a blast, i got into maximum state i think, where talking to people is so easy and there was this one situation where i was laughing so hard nonstop that N_ an P_ thought i was high or something, i had an episode like this at the mall on sunday with flawless when nobody was there. man i love good times! i realized that around these guys i act so comfortable an normal and have a blast, i just cant wait til i can get to that level with absolute strangers and hot girls.
i havent done many sets tonight, i recall opening a 2-set with a shot opener but then exited immediately after, i dont kno why. the super hot dirty blond was on the phone and completely ignored me, she seemed lik a bit*h and she was when i caught her leaving bitc*ing at strangers, i guess she really wanted to get laid and nobody talked to her or something. the other girl was pretty fat and she lost her voice and tried to talk to me but i couldnt hear a thing she said.
i was hitting up the two waiters i had tonight. the first one, N_ and P_ made it feel kind of awckward when i simply was asking her a question which i thought was fine, i just ignored them. the first waitress seemed kinda boring or tired. the second waitress seemed much more cool, i was hittin her up. did some funny thigns and kino'd her alot. rub a dub cheeks saying i lik her smile, and i making her bend super close to my lips to hear my orders. it was funny. two girls that knew N_ and also P_ came over to talk to them an the short one was banging, i was staring at her chest alot. the other girl seemed really bored so i talked to her a bit an things was going ok i guess, but she seemed annoyed and didnt like to laugh or anything and kept saying "i dont know" to alot of my questions, i.e. girl on girl make outs. but i said some clever flirts, i shoulda done alot more, but i think cuz i was drunk i didnt. she ended up pulling the short hot girl who was talking to N_ out of the interaction saying she needed to go to the bathroom, but it was an excuse for cockblock i think. we all left the bar to go play some 3-handed poker at N_'s. its just something that we do.
left the bar around 12. there was alot of hot girls, but so many more guys at sante fe tonight. makign it hard to find sets to open, but there was several sets i coulda opened which i didnt, i know i have much less AA but i didn't open them. i went back to the bar before we left to use the bathroom and on the way out from the bathroom i ran into M_E_. said wassup an carried on our business, like we always do when we randomly meet, we dont chill at all, i find it weird. there was these two girls that he was talking to that i remember. one of them was from the graffitti party that changed my life. she was real busty but i acted like i didn't rememeber her. the other was francis's ex from long ago i think. she is really cute but i rememeber justin and steve saying she's ugly, which i don't get. she seemed really cool, i think she was digging my pimp accessories (same with the 2nd waitress, we had mad E.C. and smiles, which is why i hit up those rub a dubs). she asked for my name and i said "ill show you my name" and was about to do the writing my name int he air thing but then i remembered that i did this same thing to the chick from the graffitti party! lol! when i grabbed this girl's shoulders and was abot to tell what to do, i caught on to this an said that i couldnt do this i had to go cuz my friends were waiting outside, which was the truth... i shoulda stayed in and talked though.
well we left the bar and got to nicks and i played some poker, there was some ridiculous things going on about the pizzas we ordered, dollar bills, hot sauce, burning mouths, stealing food, and some really bad ramen noodles. who drains out all the soup after cooking? lame. it was hilarious though i was laughing ridiculously. and then passed out, goodnight!
Talk About Life
4/25
lets get weird for a second and talk about life. i been thinking about the lasting impact people's lives have on the future. how many of us even know our great grandparents' names/lifestyle? i dont, and alot of people dont. i realize that i could live the most amazing life and have even my most loved ones (family) forget me in 3-4 generations. alot of people are forgotten, millions everyday. its kind of upsetting to me, i think one of the worst things in life is to die and have not a single soul miss you. but that only applies to people who actually meet you in person, not 3-4 generations down the line. its thoughts like this that make me hope that there is a heaven
another thing i want to note, is my state pattern the past couple weeks. towards the end, thursdays-sunday i have such an amazing time. maybe partly due to having no class but i think its also just going out and working on game too. my state at these times are high and i feel so happy. then monday-wednesday my state gets killed from these damn girls in my classroom, its a form of oneitis i think, but its with lik 4-5 girls. i just want to be good friends with them, goodness i never realized how bad my social skills are until moments like this, cant even make good friends with girls. this sounds total AFC but each day i run into them and dont talk to them or promote anything in our social interactions above being just "acquaintances" which makes me upset, because i know, once this semester is over, i might have lost some potentially really cool people i could have in my life. and i know even if i don't get to know these girls any better, it'll be fine, because the truth is, everybody is nobody until they become somebody in your life. and right now these people are nobody, but its kinda sad that they have the potential to be a real meaningful somebody in my life.
lets get weird for a second and talk about life. i been thinking about the lasting impact people's lives have on the future. how many of us even know our great grandparents' names/lifestyle? i dont, and alot of people dont. i realize that i could live the most amazing life and have even my most loved ones (family) forget me in 3-4 generations. alot of people are forgotten, millions everyday. its kind of upsetting to me, i think one of the worst things in life is to die and have not a single soul miss you. but that only applies to people who actually meet you in person, not 3-4 generations down the line. its thoughts like this that make me hope that there is a heaven
another thing i want to note, is my state pattern the past couple weeks. towards the end, thursdays-sunday i have such an amazing time. maybe partly due to having no class but i think its also just going out and working on game too. my state at these times are high and i feel so happy. then monday-wednesday my state gets killed from these damn girls in my classroom, its a form of oneitis i think, but its with lik 4-5 girls. i just want to be good friends with them, goodness i never realized how bad my social skills are until moments like this, cant even make good friends with girls. this sounds total AFC but each day i run into them and dont talk to them or promote anything in our social interactions above being just "acquaintances" which makes me upset, because i know, once this semester is over, i might have lost some potentially really cool people i could have in my life. and i know even if i don't get to know these girls any better, it'll be fine, because the truth is, everybody is nobody until they become somebody in your life. and right now these people are nobody, but its kinda sad that they have the potential to be a real meaningful somebody in my life.
Girly Meetings
4/22
got my nose checked out at school an it's fine. my state is pumped from all the fun from the weekend! then had a group meeting tonight with these 3 girls in one of my classes. one of them i wasnt really into, but she turned out to be really cool and i think she'll be a lot of fun to hang out with, i hope to get to know these girls better. there were some guys who walked into our meeting that knew the girls an they seemed really cool and i felt kinda low value for some reason, it might just be my perspective, but one of them just took over the frame going crazy dancing, i wanna develop that interesting personality that lights up the whole room with fun and laughter
got my nose checked out at school an it's fine. my state is pumped from all the fun from the weekend! then had a group meeting tonight with these 3 girls in one of my classes. one of them i wasnt really into, but she turned out to be really cool and i think she'll be a lot of fun to hang out with, i hope to get to know these girls better. there were some guys who walked into our meeting that knew the girls an they seemed really cool and i felt kinda low value for some reason, it might just be my perspective, but one of them just took over the frame going crazy dancing, i wanna develop that interesting personality that lights up the whole room with fun and laughter
D_'s J_ BBQ
4/21
went to D_'s friend, J_'s BBQ and damn that was fun too, this weekend was amazing. i got a major tan/burn and thought i broke my nose from a soccer accident. there was a huge dog there almost as big as a horse. D_'s friends are are cool, i need to chill with them more.
went to D_'s friend, J_'s BBQ and damn that was fun too, this weekend was amazing. i got a major tan/burn and thought i broke my nose from a soccer accident. there was a huge dog there almost as big as a horse. D_'s friends are are cool, i need to chill with them more.
Crunk BBQ
4/20
holy crap, had a BBQ at my house with K_ and i had a blast. the food was FREAKIGN AMAZING!!! i got really drunk and high as hell and got sick which sucked with a major hangover and wasted the whole day basically, slept from 9pm to 9am the next day! BOO. missed out on going out with flawless and S_
holy crap, had a BBQ at my house with K_ and i had a blast. the food was FREAKIGN AMAZING!!! i got really drunk and high as hell and got sick which sucked with a major hangover and wasted the whole day basically, slept from 9pm to 9am the next day! BOO. missed out on going out with flawless and S_
Talib Kweli @ UMCP
4/19
went to the talib kweli concert and it was so dead, everyone was like robots standing still not doing jack, but i had a fun time, i was dancing my ass off and partying on my own basically. i didnt know most of talib's songs so i didnt know wtf he was rapping about so i was jus basically listenign to the music. i opened a 2-set there and it went alright, one of them was really fun and into me and the blond chick was NOT. afterwards me and 3 friends went out to bentley's but i was NOT dressed up and it killed my state, did no sets basically. nick's two friends are funny ass people, strong frames and crazy, they actually dont mind hollering at girls, like most of my friends do. one of them always brought a negative vibe though, but i ignored it and found it funny that he acts like that (i.e. making racial jokes about me being asian, most ppl would be offended, but i didn't let it affect me one bit, til he started sayign something to a friend of mine from high school we ran into, pissed me off)
went to the talib kweli concert and it was so dead, everyone was like robots standing still not doing jack, but i had a fun time, i was dancing my ass off and partying on my own basically. i didnt know most of talib's songs so i didnt know wtf he was rapping about so i was jus basically listenign to the music. i opened a 2-set there and it went alright, one of them was really fun and into me and the blond chick was NOT. afterwards me and 3 friends went out to bentley's but i was NOT dressed up and it killed my state, did no sets basically. nick's two friends are funny ass people, strong frames and crazy, they actually dont mind hollering at girls, like most of my friends do. one of them always brought a negative vibe though, but i ignored it and found it funny that he acts like that (i.e. making racial jokes about me being asian, most ppl would be offended, but i didn't let it affect me one bit, til he started sayign something to a friend of mine from high school we ran into, pissed me off)
Grandparents Birthday With New Me
4/15
grandfather's birthday, family reunion, super alpha, lots of fun; played cranium and i felt so comfortable doing all those crazy things with my family, i dont think i ever had as much fun as i did with them as then. being shy around family is lame, i cant believe i used to be so dead in all those previous family reunions.
grandfather's birthday, family reunion, super alpha, lots of fun; played cranium and i felt so comfortable doing all those crazy things with my family, i dont think i ever had as much fun as i did with them as then. being shy around family is lame, i cant believe i used to be so dead in all those previous family reunions.
Smart Asses
4/8/07
Knowledge completely changes the way a person views the world. I'm beginning to understand why ignorance is really blissful, knowledge dulls the mind. When i see a lightswitch and the lights it turns on, i understand it simply connects a circuit of wires allowing electricity to pass through to a resistive load that generates power in the form of light to illuminate the room. People less apt in the electrical field will simply think, its like "magic," the same way i cannot understand EXACTLY why a knob for a shower can control the amount and temperature of water the showerhead emits, i know it has to do with mechanics and pressure, but i really don't know how. I feel bad sometimes when people do not really understand the world around them, but with understanding, there is less appreciation for life's mysteries. Knowing how things work gives the mentality of "o, it works lik that because its supposed to." not the "wow this is so cool, isn't it amazing that these things happen?".
I think of this because now i analyze almost every social situation from the ideas of frames an social dynamics and it just completely changes my outlook on life. Its just ridiculous sometimes how much I analyze social interactions. But losing that ignorance isn't bad, just different, in exchange for it I know i have the ability to become a better person, a goal i try to walk towards each day of my life, some days slower than others. Having a strong frame and knowing your self-worth is high, I wonder if I'll be able to really believe I am more worthy for all the women in the world than some famous idol such as Brad Pitt/Tom Cruise. And vice-versa, I wonder how many regular women in the world actually believe they are more special than super hot models and porn stars.
Knowledge completely changes the way a person views the world. I'm beginning to understand why ignorance is really blissful, knowledge dulls the mind. When i see a lightswitch and the lights it turns on, i understand it simply connects a circuit of wires allowing electricity to pass through to a resistive load that generates power in the form of light to illuminate the room. People less apt in the electrical field will simply think, its like "magic," the same way i cannot understand EXACTLY why a knob for a shower can control the amount and temperature of water the showerhead emits, i know it has to do with mechanics and pressure, but i really don't know how. I feel bad sometimes when people do not really understand the world around them, but with understanding, there is less appreciation for life's mysteries. Knowing how things work gives the mentality of "o, it works lik that because its supposed to." not the "wow this is so cool, isn't it amazing that these things happen?".
I think of this because now i analyze almost every social situation from the ideas of frames an social dynamics and it just completely changes my outlook on life. Its just ridiculous sometimes how much I analyze social interactions. But losing that ignorance isn't bad, just different, in exchange for it I know i have the ability to become a better person, a goal i try to walk towards each day of my life, some days slower than others. Having a strong frame and knowing your self-worth is high, I wonder if I'll be able to really believe I am more worthy for all the women in the world than some famous idol such as Brad Pitt/Tom Cruise. And vice-versa, I wonder how many regular women in the world actually believe they are more special than super hot models and porn stars.
Body Parts
4/6/07
I completely shaved off my pubs with a clipper at lvl 1 length or something, and i can see my private parts fully, and boy do i look great, i look like a porn star; stood butt naked in front of a mirror high, funny stuff!
P.S. - Shaving private parts can get dangerous.
I completely shaved off my pubs with a clipper at lvl 1 length or something, and i can see my private parts fully, and boy do i look great, i look like a porn star; stood butt naked in front of a mirror high, funny stuff!
P.S. - Shaving private parts can get dangerous.
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