Talk About Life

4/25

lets get weird for a second and talk about life. i been thinking about the lasting impact people's lives have on the future. how many of us even know our great grandparents' names/lifestyle? i dont, and alot of people dont. i realize that i could live the most amazing life and have even my most loved ones (family) forget me in 3-4 generations. alot of people are forgotten, millions everyday. its kind of upsetting to me, i think one of the worst things in life is to die and have not a single soul miss you. but that only applies to people who actually meet you in person, not 3-4 generations down the line. its thoughts like this that make me hope that there is a heaven

another thing i want to note, is my state pattern the past couple weeks. towards the end, thursdays-sunday i have such an amazing time. maybe partly due to having no class but i think its also just going out and working on game too. my state at these times are high and i feel so happy. then monday-wednesday my state gets killed from these damn girls in my classroom, its a form of oneitis i think, but its with lik 4-5 girls. i just want to be good friends with them, goodness i never realized how bad my social skills are until moments like this, cant even make good friends with girls. this sounds total AFC but each day i run into them and dont talk to them or promote anything in our social interactions above being just "acquaintances" which makes me upset, because i know, once this semester is over, i might have lost some potentially really cool people i could have in my life. and i know even if i don't get to know these girls any better, it'll be fine, because the truth is, everybody is nobody until they become somebody in your life. and right now these people are nobody, but its kinda sad that they have the potential to be a real meaningful somebody in my life.